Day 24 - The Trenches
08 October 2010
The situation has become like the long, drawn-out trench warfare of World War I. Every day there seems to be a new enemy to fight. And every day is an uphill struggle to avoid falling into the pits of despair again. I don’t know why it’s become like this again. It was all going so well only a week or so ago. But recently it seems to be getting a lot tougher to keep my spirits up. While I still have enjoyable moments throughout each day, whenever there’s a lull in proceedings I tend to feel a sense of uneasiness wash over me. And no matter how much I keep trying to tell myself that it’s only a temporary spell, I can’t help but worry that it’s becoming more frequent and more tangible with each occurrence. I fear that I may be turning back into the person I swore I would not become ever again. If that happened then I would lose everything I’ve worked so hard for, and that’s probably the biggest demon I face right now – the fear of returning to a state of depressive paranoia.
The war is by no means lost, however, I still have plenty of fighting spirit left in me. I have the determination and the willpower to overcome this obstacle. I’m not going to let all that’s precious to me slip out of my grasp again. I refuse to be beaten. I will succeed. I will be happy.
Posted byHocchan at 10:14 pm
