There Never Is Goodbye
27 February 2006
I'm going to write this now, while the emotions are still raw, before they fade away like the breath on a cold winter day. My friend Brooke decided to quit FFXI today. Well, I'm not sure it was decided today but this is when I found out. I received a message from her when I logged on this evening and I could tell from the few words in it that it was bad news. How bad I didn't realise until I logged on properly and read the linkshell message. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I was so shocked. I wish I had more time to deal with this. From hearing the news until the final /tell was a matter of a few hours. Time was too short, that's for sure.
I had grown complacent over the last few months. I had forgotten the pain of losing a friend from the game. Today had brought it all back, however, and hit me when I was least expecting it. I've always tried to explain the feelings and the reason for having them. The closest explanation I could come up with is thus: when you make a friend, you give them a piece of yourself. The closer the friend, the more you give away. So when they go, it's like they take a part of you with them. I don't mean it in a selfish way. Maybe a materialist representation can't describe what I feel. In any case, it's the same pain I've felt so many times in the past. Unfortunately the suffering does not get easier each time you experience it. If anything it gets worse. Everytime this happens I ask myself why I bother to make friends at all in the first place? You'll only end up getting hurt in the end, so why not just forget it all and lead your life alone? But then I remind myself that this hurt and sadness is worth paying for all the happy memories I have. All the great times we have had I shall cherish forever.
Posted byHocchan at 3:27 am 0 comments
Chiisana Hane Hirogete
25 February 2006
We had an amazing Dynamis-Bastok run last Wednesday. The previous runs in Bastok were always above average but this one surpassed anything I'd seen before. It all started normally enough for the first 15-20 mins, but once the first piece of relic dropped it was like a floodgate had opened. They just kept dropping every few minutes after that. We ended up with a total of 15 pieces by the time we finished. I bagged myself some Wyrm Brais for my Dragoon so I was happy. I don't think we'll have another run quite like that anytime soon.
Last Tuesday I did something very odd. I bought a book. This may not seem very odd to most people but I'm not really into reading. When I saw this book I suddenly wanted to buy it. Maybe it was the price, or maybe it was the front cover but I knew I had to get it. It was Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I knew nothing of the story and only recognised it because of the film that had been released not long ago. From the first page, however, I couldn't put the book down. I found myself picking it up from my shelf on every free moment I had. The story is just too compelling. The way Sayuri tells her story is engrossing and makes you feel like you're actually there, spectating on the events. The way she describes her thoughts and feelings, it's almost like you're inside her mind. Truly a great book and I can see why they decided to make it into a film. I'll definitely be seeking out the film once it comes out on DVD.
Posted byHocchan at 2:50 pm 0 comments
Those That Fight Further
16 February 2006
Funny thing Valentine's Day. It somehow always makes you depressed if your on your own. The last entry was proof of that. I didn't intentionally want to make it sound so depressing but it seemed to come across that way. Still, it was fun reminiscing about times past. But enough with that! This entry will be more upbeat and happy. Yoshu, ikuzou!!! O~~~~~~u!!
The Promathia Missions are moving along nicely. Kalm went to fight Diabolos for 3-5 last Monday and I was allowed to tag along with them. The trip to the BC area was pretty uneventful, just some short teleports around Pso'Xja. The fight itself was far from boring though! /laugh Diabolos is one tough cookie. Took 5 attempts for my group to beat that sucker. It was definitely worth it though, I now have access to the new Dynamis areas. Next on the mission list is 4-2 and Ouryu. I've been allowed to continue attending these Promathia Mission runs with Kalm even though I'm not a member so I'm happy about that. The story to the PMs is fantastic! With Zilart it was more about getting to Sky, but with Promathia it's all about the plot and the characters. I love it and can't wait for more.
During the last week I watched Futakoi Alternative. I knew that it was a spin-off of the Futakoi series that I liked, but I didn't know how different it would be. They're totally unrelated to the point that the characters don't know each other. It's like they're from a different reality or something. Guess that's why it's called 'Alternative'. The series as a whole was decent enough. Some of the episodes, however, really didn't make sense. I got confused to what the characters were doing as one minute they'd be laughing around, and then the next they're in the pits of depression. It got pretty annoying after a few episodes of that formula. Thankfully they came to their senses in the last 3 and produced a great finale. Probably not a series I would want to watch through again but enoyable enough.
I finally (I think) fixed my damn PlayStation 2. It has been having trouble playing discs of any sort lately. It got really annoying so I opened it up and messed around with it a little bit but it didn't solve anything. On each ocassion though I learnt a little bit more about what each bit of the CD drive did and this morning I finally cracked it. The laser unit runs along a set of runners. This is connected to a rack-and-pinion system similar to a car, with a motor on one end. The rack rotates and this moves the pinion along it, thus moving the lens unit up and down the runners. Turns out the pinion wasn't pressing down onto the rack enough which resulted in it slipping on the teeth. I bent the pinion piece down so that it sat on the rack with more force and it seems to have solved the problem. So now I can play all my games again! /cheer
Posted byHocchan at 1:00 pm 0 comments
Mirage Lullaby
14 February 2006
St Valentine's Day ka... brings back some nice memories.
There was a girl from school, Lorna, who had the 14th February as a birthday. I used to send her both a birthday card and a Valentine's card, along with a single rose. One year I went a bit mad and cycled up to her house 10 miles away to deliver my present. Was such a nice day, clear blue skies and warm sunshine. Was kind of a miracle that I arrived in the village the same moment she was taking her dog for a walk. We went for a short stroll around the village while she opened her present and cards. She seemed happy enough, but I was so damned nervous I couldn't really say. It just seemed like a dream at the time. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the world just seemed so perfect. I'll never forget the sweet fragrance from the perfume she was wearing.
We arrived back in the village a short time after and she invited me to her house. It was situated near the end of a quiet little lane backed by a big, wide field. The house itself was a nice detached property with a big conservatory to the back. Inside was stylishly furnished and had a cosy feel about it. We talked for about and hour or so. Well I say 'talked' but in reality it was probably just me listening to her and occasionally saying, "yeah". Didn't matter though, it was a nice atmosphere.
It was getting dark so I decided that I had better set off home, it would be a long cycle back. We said our goodbyes outside and she gave me a hug. Shows of affections isn't something I'm very used to but I felt totally at ease on that occasion. Possibly one of my favourite days in my life and something I'll never forget.
We haven't spoken for a couple of years. Lost contact after she moved down to Liverpool to attend university. I still think about her from time to time, especially on St Valentine's Day. I wonder sometimes if I should call her and talk but I don't think it'd solve anything. I'll just be content with the memories of happier times.
Posted byHocchan at 12:05 pm 1 comments
Ace Wo Nerae
10 February 2006
I feel really depressed at the moment. I'm not sure why but I feel like time is running too fast. I keep watching the clock on my desktop and wanting it to stop. I don't want morning to come. I'll try to take my mind off it by writing something on here.
Bought Shaolin Soccer on DVD today from Music Zone for £6.97. I've been wanting to watch it again for some time but it has always been too expensive. Seems there are a lot of price cuts in the high street stores this month which is a reward for all of us who resisted the January sale prices. For some reason I remembered this film as being funnier when I first saw it. Don't get me wrong, it's still just as enjoyable, I just thought there were more funny moments in it. Ah well, for the price I got it at it's a bargain. Next on my list to get are Kung Fu Hustle and Azumi 2 as soon as they get reduced to below £9.99.
Finished watching Ace Wo Nerae a couple of nights ago. The last episode was a cracker. Full of tension and tear-jerking scenes, it was an explosive and satisfying end to the series. You can really tell how much the director improved over the series by comparing the action sequences from the later episodes to the earlier ones. I really enjoyed watching this series.
Posted byHocchan at 5:42 am 1 comments
Tale Of Souls And Swords
06 February 2006
Bah! I've been lazy again. Because of this I may forget some of the things that were worth writing about. I'll try and do my best to remember the interesting events of the past fortnight.
The static party we have in FFXI is going along quite well. The five permanent members are Ardel (WHM), Cata (PLD), Icewing (MNK), Arissa (DRG), and I (DRG). We work pretty well as a team despite having 2 Dragoons in the party. The only problem we have is that there seems to be a lack of refreshers around lately. In these instances we have to settle for another melee. The last few times we've had a Thief it sucked beyond belief!!! Damn Thieves nowadays don't have a clue how to play their jobs properly. They either don't know how to Trick/Sneak attack properly or never report their DAMN TP!! Annoys the hell out of me. It's gotten to the point now that I don't ever want to party with a Thief again. And that's a shame because there are some good Thieves I've partied with as Samurai (/shocked! I'm giving a compliment to a Thief!!). The odd parties with Ninja, Ranger or Warrior filling 6th member spot were pretty decent. Nothing beats having a refresher though. We ripped through the Trapogans in Bibiki Bay last night when we were fortunate enough to get a Japanese Red Mage. Hope we have more parties like that.
I'm gutted today! Had Dynamis Jeuno and a pair of Saotome Sune-Ate dropped halfway through. I got missed highest lot by 96 points! I was so disappointed. It'll take ages for us to do another Jeuno run and even then, for them to drop again and me to win highest lot will be tough. So unfair... /cry
Other snippets of news from FFXI. They've announced the release date of 20th April for the new expansion pack. I can't wait, it's looking very interesting. Exploring all the new places, doing the new missions, trying out the new jobs, it's going to be fun.
Working my way through Promathia missions at the moment with Kalm, the sister linkshell to my dynamis one. Complete the Minotaur and Mammets missions so far. Hopefully I'll get to fight Diabolos soon.
The new Valention's Day event is lots of fun. Icewing and I have so far managed to get ourselves the normal versions of the Charm Wand (which looks super cute! Kind of like something out of Sailor Moon). Trying to get the +1 version but the moogle isn't being very co-operative...
I think that's about it. Real life is boring and I hate it so no need to report that. Maybe something good will happen these coming weeks, who knows? Here's hoping.
Posted byHocchan at 5:14 am 0 comments
