Le Sigh...
03 February 2009
I've been sat here for the past ten minutes trying to write an opening sentence but none of them have really been good enough yet. I'm hoping that this attempt to start the post will be more successful. The difficulty I'm having with trying to construct a decent opening is probably linked to the current state of mind I'm in. I don't know why but I've been feeling out of sorts for the last couple of days. I'm feeling a mixture of frustration, stress and depression. There just seems to be a lot of unresolved stuff floating around in my head at the moment. And some of it is stuff that I can't really talk to anyone about. It's probably easier just to write some of it down on here and let it dissipate into a string of binary numbers. I have no idea if it'll be of any use but it's better than bottling them up inside.
The first object of contention is the presentation that I have to do on Thursday. I wasn't that worried about it last weekend but as it gets closer I'm starting to feel apprehensive. It's another joint presentation and once again, I feel like I'm not contributing enough. I don't really have that much confidence in myself. I just need to persevere for another couple of days and then I won't have to worry about it any more. It's just a shame that it won't be the last presentation that I'll have to do this year. There's another one coming up in March for the Background to China module that I'm taking. At least I have quite a bit of time to prepare for that one.
The whole ordeal of trying to find a place to live next year is also causing me some grief. It turns out that the place a group of friends and I had planned on applying for has been taken over by the university for next year's first years. So now we're all going to have to change our plans and find somewhere new. I really don't want the hassle of find a house to share. I'd much rather just get a room in private halls. There's one place that looks quite decent but I'm still waiting on the owners to e-mail me back. Whichever place I choose, I'd better do it quick because places will probably fill up quite fast. I'll also have to spend quite a large amount of money just to secure my booking too - which means added stress about finances.
There are a couple of other matters that I don't really want to talk about publicly. Those are things that I'll have to resolve on my own and in my own time. They're pretty trivial things to worry about but I'm the sort of person who stresses over little things. I just hope that I'll have some peace soon.
Posted byHocchan at 7:08 pm
